This last month has been filled with surprises, disappointments, achievement, questions, stress, suspense, and lots of unknowns. It's been a fairly stressful time for us, and I have struggled to keep a positive attitude. In the past, I have usually known the next step in my life, and not knowing worries me sometimes.
I was thinking about this as I was trying to wake up this morning, when song came to mind, "I'm Letting Go". It's talks about how life is a giant leap of faith, and you have to trust that God will be there for you. I thought I'd share the lyrics with you:
"I'm Letting Go" by Francesca Battistelli
My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back
Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go
This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone
Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go
Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me
Hope this was meaningful to you! It helped me remember that it's not all about the life I planned out for me- it's what God has in store, and even though it sometimes means taking a blind jump, you can have faith that He will catch you.
10.10.2008
10.01.2008
Studies, stress, and struggles
Well, after a year and half of being out of school, I find myself hurled back into the swift current of studies. I say it like it's a bad thing, but it's not. It's just a little overwhelming at the moment.
Classes started a week ago today. I'm taking 5 classes this quarter: Life-Span Development, Abnormal Psychology, Medical Terminology, Intro to OT, and Women in American History. All of them have a LOT of reading involved. In 3 different classes, I walked into the classroom on the first day and the teacher expected us to have the first 2-3 chapters read already. Needless to say, I have been playing catch up most of the week. It's frustrating, because one of my goals this year was to stay ahead with the reading- pretty tough when they start you out behind!!
I didn't realize just how different classes would be here compared to Walla Walla. I knew there would be many more students on campus, and that there would be people from lots of different backgrounds. I did not anticipate, however, just how different the teaching would be. When I walked into my first class, the professor said, "Let's start off with...." and I'm used to hearing "a word of prayer," but she said, "taking a look at the syllabus." Okay, I thought. That's okay. I need to get used to this.
It became very difficult for me when in my Abnormal Psych book they blamed Christianity for many extreme treatments for abnormal behavior (such as Jesus casting out demons), and said that Christianity is responsible for the diverting the attention of people in finding "effective treatment" in these disorders. Furthermore, they had Joan of Arch and Christ as examples of individuals who had "disillusions of grandeur." It really bothers me to hear Christ and Christianity talked about in such a condescending way.
Another issue that I am currently dealing with is a book that is required for my Women in American History class. We are required to read a book called, "Talking to the Dead" about the Fox sisters who started a movement in spiritualism. I am very against reading this book, but it accounts for 20% of the overall grade in the class. I am going to speak with my professor and see if she will allow me to read a different book instead. If not, I am faced with the two options of either taking an 80% as the maximum grade I can receive, or withdrawing from the class.
Another challenge I'm facing right now is meeting the core requirements I need in order to apply to the Occupational Therapy program this next spring. I thought I had all the prereqs taken care of, but it turns out that I not only had the required OT classes, I also have the core classes for a bachelor's degree that I need to fulfill. It turns out that 3 classes I took at WWU (computer literacy, A&P, and Western Thought) may help fulfill some of these requirements. I need to meet with the department heads for each of these subjects and plead my case. If they all accept it, then it is possible for me to have everything ready for this spring. It will mean that this coming winter and spring quarter I will need to take 20 credits. If one of the department heads decides that they cannot accept my class credits, then it will mean staying on the main campus one more year, and graduating with my masters in 2012 instead of 2011.
After all these negatives, I must say that there are many positive things to talk about too. God blessed Bob and I greatly when I was awarded two grants that completely covered my tuition for the year. It was a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am very thankful. And even though I am not surrounded by other Adventists in my classes, I am blessed to have an amazing husband, close, loving in-laws, and a wonderful church family to support me here while I go to school. Not to mention all my family and friends who live elsewhere who are always there for me!
Classes started a week ago today. I'm taking 5 classes this quarter: Life-Span Development, Abnormal Psychology, Medical Terminology, Intro to OT, and Women in American History. All of them have a LOT of reading involved. In 3 different classes, I walked into the classroom on the first day and the teacher expected us to have the first 2-3 chapters read already. Needless to say, I have been playing catch up most of the week. It's frustrating, because one of my goals this year was to stay ahead with the reading- pretty tough when they start you out behind!!
I didn't realize just how different classes would be here compared to Walla Walla. I knew there would be many more students on campus, and that there would be people from lots of different backgrounds. I did not anticipate, however, just how different the teaching would be. When I walked into my first class, the professor said, "Let's start off with...." and I'm used to hearing "a word of prayer," but she said, "taking a look at the syllabus." Okay, I thought. That's okay. I need to get used to this.
It became very difficult for me when in my Abnormal Psych book they blamed Christianity for many extreme treatments for abnormal behavior (such as Jesus casting out demons), and said that Christianity is responsible for the diverting the attention of people in finding "effective treatment" in these disorders. Furthermore, they had Joan of Arch and Christ as examples of individuals who had "disillusions of grandeur." It really bothers me to hear Christ and Christianity talked about in such a condescending way.
Another issue that I am currently dealing with is a book that is required for my Women in American History class. We are required to read a book called, "Talking to the Dead" about the Fox sisters who started a movement in spiritualism. I am very against reading this book, but it accounts for 20% of the overall grade in the class. I am going to speak with my professor and see if she will allow me to read a different book instead. If not, I am faced with the two options of either taking an 80% as the maximum grade I can receive, or withdrawing from the class.
Another challenge I'm facing right now is meeting the core requirements I need in order to apply to the Occupational Therapy program this next spring. I thought I had all the prereqs taken care of, but it turns out that I not only had the required OT classes, I also have the core classes for a bachelor's degree that I need to fulfill. It turns out that 3 classes I took at WWU (computer literacy, A&P, and Western Thought) may help fulfill some of these requirements. I need to meet with the department heads for each of these subjects and plead my case. If they all accept it, then it is possible for me to have everything ready for this spring. It will mean that this coming winter and spring quarter I will need to take 20 credits. If one of the department heads decides that they cannot accept my class credits, then it will mean staying on the main campus one more year, and graduating with my masters in 2012 instead of 2011.
After all these negatives, I must say that there are many positive things to talk about too. God blessed Bob and I greatly when I was awarded two grants that completely covered my tuition for the year. It was a HUGE answer to prayer, and I am very thankful. And even though I am not surrounded by other Adventists in my classes, I am blessed to have an amazing husband, close, loving in-laws, and a wonderful church family to support me here while I go to school. Not to mention all my family and friends who live elsewhere who are always there for me!
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