I feel cold, alone, and worried. Cold because it's freezing outside. Alone because I haven't been able to talk with my husband all day, and worried because of all the snow and traveling in it.
Bob was still at home when I left for school this morning. Roads were awful getting down our hill. Didn't hear from Bob at lunch, hoping at least he got to work safely. He was supposed to stay for a staff meeting beginning at 7 (they typically last 2+ hours), but was thinking of going to his parents for awhile between work and the meeting. Still haven't heard anything and cell is now dead, which for some reason also makes it so I can't get through on his office line. No response on e-mail either. Argh! Just hope everything's okay.
I feel frustrated and accused. I'm frustrated because no matter what we do for Storm, it doesn't work. Today I got home and the neighbor came over and told me that she had been out all day and that the neighbors 3 houses down were keeping her. I feel accused because of statements from neighbors such as, "Is she going to be inside tonight, you know it's really too cold for her to be outside," or "You know she's been out all day. We couldn't call because she doesn't have her collar" and, "I don't know what kind of collar doesn't break. OUR dog has free reign of our yard." WELL MINE WOULD TOO IF THE CRAZY THING DIDN'T JUMP IT! And she didn't have her collar because SHE BROKE IT! And of course I'm not going to leave her outside in the blizzard and single digit temperatures. Pretty sure these are the neighbors that reported us to animal control.
I feel accused. Like I'm a negligent and abusive pet owner. We do our best for her. Yes- we leave her outside during the day. But she has shelter, food and water. More than we can say for lots of people out there right now. But nobody cares about that, let's make sure our animals are taken care of. Stupid. Yes I care about our animal. But she's that- an animal.
I'm also extremely frustrated. At school we have to get in 10 hours for a "community experience". Some classmates were assigned to an adaptive sports program, others to a women's shelter, and I was assigned to the local veteran's home. The other two programs had variable times you could go get your hours. But mine doesn't. Tuesday from 2-4pm. Written in stone. I don't know why. I just go and visit with my client in his room. I could do that any time. But our professors aren't moving. Most of my classmates are now on Thanksgiving break. But not me. So about the time the UCA bus (driven by my husband) is passing through the Tri-cities, I'll be beginning my 2 hour stretch of my community experience, spending time with a client who would rather not spend his time with me. I'll come home to an empty cold house, and start out the next morning to drive through the dicey roads on my own. Oh wait, not on my own. Storm will be there. Can't leave her home and let the neighbors watch her for us. We learned last time what happens when we do that.
Oh- and I went to the chiroporactor today, got some work done, and my shoulder hurts like the blazes. And he mentioned two separate surgeries, not for the first time.
Hope the rest of you are feeling more optimistic right now. I am feeling quite down.
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