Redirecting

Hello Readers,

As most of you know (or maybe not...), I have moved my blog to our new family website. You can now find it at: http://www.bklenz.net/blog/

We also have a recipes page there, and we will be adding new recipes as often as possible.

Hope this doesn't detour you guys in following my writings!

Kari

Captivating and The Sacred Romance

I think I get it from my Dad. When I see things that I like for a good price, I tend to buy them. Even if Christmas or my b-day is coming up. So... when I found a couple books today on amazon.com that I've been wanting, Bob let me buy them for myself as an early b-day gift. Has anyone read Captivating or The Sacred Romance?

I am especially excited about reading Captivating. I've wanted to read it for some time, but I haven't had much free time to read in the last couple years since starting the MOT program. Hopefully during spring break I'll get a chance. I hadn't planned on purchasing The Sacred Romance, but the title and description caught my eye as something that I could definitely relate to and benefit from.

I'll try to give a quick book review for anyone interested in these books after I read them. I'm curious though, those of you who have read them, what did you think?

Fibromyalgia?

Questions. Lots of them, so far without answers. It gets old after awhile! I have several classmates I have confided in about what I've been going through the last 5 or so months. We were sitting in class reading a case study about an individual who had fibromyalgia, and it hit the three of us at the same time: my symptoms line up suspiciously close to those of fibromyalgia.

So.. back to the Dr., which I should have done some time ago after we got the results back that ruled out MS. I guess I naively thought that perhaps it would all just go away.

The good thing is that with all the tests and diagnostic procedures I've been through so far this year, we've met our deductibles for the year. So hopefully we can get back and make some progress on figuring out what is going on! Unfortunately, fibromyalgia is diagnosed by a process of elimination of other similar presenting conditions. It may sound strange, but I am honestly hoping this is what we find. It would give me answers, help to develop a treatment plan, and it's not a degenerative or life-threatening disorder. Only time will tell.

Snow Day!

Growing up, we would get snow days with as little as a couple inches of snow. But we didn't care. It was snow! We would meticulously scoop up the snow from the yard and build a snowman. Or if we were really lucky, a snow fort. Of course, the once beautifully white yard was now bare again, but we had something to show for it.

Two years ago, my first winter in Spokane, was also my first academic year at EWU. It was a pretty hard winter. I trudged through the snow up hill [but only one way;)]to get to class. We only lived about a mile from school, and since our car had recently died, Bob drove the other one to work. I loved walking in the snow. It was exciting. And peaceful. And soooo beautiful. There wasn't much time during that winter that we didn't have snow on the ground. Christmas Eve we got snowed in at Mom and Dad's. It was a great winter. But school kept going, even though we had all that snow, until one night we got about 18 inches. They canceled school because the plows couldn't keep up, and there was no place for off-campus students to park.

But this morning when I woke up, I checked my e-mail on my cell. I received a lovely message from a classmate, informing me that we had no school today. Inconceivable! There's only about 4-6 inches on the ground max. Oh well, I'll take it.

I've needed some down time. Yesterday, every spare block of time was accounted for for the next 2 weeks of the quarter. So many group projects. Research, pediatrics, assistive technology, and emerging practice all have group projects this quarter. So today is a welcomed break from that. Today I can take the time to catch up on things in life that are truly important. Like preparing for those group projects (just kidding... but I will take advantage of this time and get a head start). No, but seriously. Time for Bob. Time for devotions, and not just those hurried ones I'm unfortunately accustomed to. Time for me. It's going to be a wonderful day. :)

Some interesting thoughts on life

As I was perusing stumbleupon.com, I found this "handbook". I thought it had some good reminders, so I decided to pass it on:

Handbook for Life… 2010
Cross Posted (& Edited) from Linda’s Yoga Journey

HEALTH:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is
manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to meditate. (Or praying and listening)
6. (Breathe)

7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

PERSONALITY:

11. Comparing our lives to others is fruitless. We have no idea what their journey is about.

12. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones especially about things out of our control. Invest energy in the positive present moment.
13. Try not to over do. Understand limits.
14. Why take ourselves so seriously. No one else does.
15. Gossip drains precious energy.
16. Dream more while we are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. We already have all we need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Let go of our partners mistakes of the past. Focus on our present/future happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Make peace with our past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of our happiness except us.
22. Realize that life is a school and we are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons we learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. We don’t have to win arguments. It’s ok to agree to disagree.

SOCIETY:
25. Call your family often. (Something I need to work on!)
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is insignificant compared to what you think of yourself.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends & family will. Stay in touch.

LIFE:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. (Higher powers) heal everything. [ie God :)]
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how we feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When we awake alive in the morning, be thankful.
39. Our Inner most is always happy. Release your “Inner Happy” on the world every day!

V-day quote

Funny v-day quote from yesterday (used with permission, of course).
B: "What should we do?"
K: "I'm going to clean up the kitchen."
B: "Oh, don't worry about those... (here I"m thinking oh, how sweet! He's going to do them for me!)... they'll be there tomorrow"
Ha ha ha.... I just had to laugh. :)

Memoirs of a Hopeless Romantic

• Being scared out of my skin (not quite literally) when some guy came through a previously non-existent door (at least in my mind) while I was diligently working at Rogers.

• Weeks later when the same guy introduced himself to me while I was at the copier, after pacing between his office (which was near the printer) and the server room. I learned that his name was Bob and that he was the computer administrator for the school

• Seeing him the following fall quarter after church, visiting with some mutual friends. Wishing him a “happy Sabbath” and receiving one in return.

• Finding a letter the next morning, asking if I would be interested in going on a date, and sharing that he was interested in getting to know me better.

• Walking to the cafe from Spanish class and finding that this guy is waiting for me. Again. So he can walk over with me and eat together at the cafe.

• Deciding on Dairy Queen for our first date, after ruling out several activities that I wasn’t able to do. Neither one of us wanted to tell the other that we were already anticipating the stomach ache that the ice cream inevitably would cause both of us.

• Visiting over icecream and fries until they turned the lights out on us. Surprised that time could go so fast. Discovering that we shared the same interests, values, and morals. This was too good to be true! Something was different about this guy.

• Driving back from the date and being asked if I was interested in a second date as he dropped me off at Foreman. Hesitating, and saying “maybe”. (Poor guy!)

• Going to the Barn Party together, after being coerced into letting him drive me (not really, but I was tricked ;) Meeting some of his friends for the first time.

• Going to the Jeremy Camp concert together, after I can’t find anybody else to go with (again, poor guy!). I didn’t want to be as forward as to ask him on a date. That would be encouraging him! Getting lost on the way back and stopping by my aunt and uncle’s since I know how to get back from there. Introducing him to my first family member, uncle Mark.

• A walk at Rooks park with him and my roommate, Amanda, after church. Remembering that everything seemed so vibrant and alive. And feeling so happy.

• Shortly after, perhaps the next week, celebrating Amanda’s grandmother’s birthday at The Modern. Not being quite sure how to introduce him to them. Getting teased by friends.

• Saying good-bye at Thanksgiving. Now this was an awkward time for a holiday. Our friendship was just on the verge of becoming something more and we had to spend the time apart. But there were many phone calls.

• Driving out to South Fork the Sunday after we got back into town. Me anticipating the question, him wondering if it was too soon to ask (we’d only really known each other for a month, after all).

• Talking a couple days later about where we thought it might be going. Ran to health class after giving him my Dad’s number, sitting through a lecture I have no recollection of.

• That same day, was asked to meet him in front of one of the guy’s dorms to walk to supper with him. Walking out and not seeing anyone, when he steps out with a bouquet of flowers and asks if I will be his girlfriend. Giddily saying yes and sharing the happy news with all my friends and family.

• Having our pictures taken by some friends. Awkwardly standing close in the freezing outside weather, documenting the start of our new relationship.

• An impromptu visit from my family after church the following Sabbath. My parents and sister approving, my little brother full of naive comments and questions. ;)

• Holding hands for the first time, a week after we started dating. Feeling nervous and giddy. Being so grateful for having a supportive and understanding boyfriend who wasn’t in a rush.

• A walk later that fall on a Sabbath afternoon. While walking down 12th Ave. and just before turning onto Bade, hearing the question, “What would you say if I told you I loved you.” Being speechless for a few seconds, almost scared, before replying, “I’d tell you that I love you too.” Realizing that I meant it with all my heart.

• Every day following, falling more in more in love with my new best friend. Wondering what the future held.

• Later that same day acting like kids iceskating with friends at the Chalet. Later that evening talking about deep issues, becoming even closer. A comment about marriage in the future, an agreement in response. Perhaps summer after next? *blush*

• Splitting time for the Christmas holiday between our families. Meeting his parents. And brothers. Feeling at home right away, feeling like I was family. Realizing that I felt as though I belonged.

• Going to WWC’s Valentine’s Banquet at the Whitman. Going for coffee afterwards, but finding that the shop was already closed. Sitting in the car listening to Selah’s “Bless the Broken Road” CD together instead.

• Moving out of the dorm the following March on my 19th birthday into Grandma's home. After all, I didn’t need to worry about LLU’s requirements. EWU’s prereqs for the OT program were fulfilled. And I felt a certain pull towards that area. ;)

• Saying good-bye after camp meeting when he had to leave for camp. Realizing that it felt like my heart was ripped in two.

• Spending time with my family at my grandparents’ place in MT. Wondering at my parent’s sudden questions about his long-term plans and goals in life.

• Being dropped off at camp, followed by a drive-by cake drop-off at the Olive Garden with camp’s bus. ;)

• Getting the surprise of my life when, after returning to camp, he pop’s the question after helping me get settled at our friend’s house. OUR FIRST KISS!!

• The next morning when he picked me up for breakfast. Feeling conspicuous with a beautiful ring on my finger. Joyfully sharing the news with anyone who would listen. Desperately trying to find enough cell service to call family and friends to share the good news.

• Watching the fireworks that night over Lake CDA . Feeling like all of America was celebrating with us.

• Returning to Grandma's and continuing to count down the days until you would be back from camp. Splurging on wedding magazines and beginning to plan our wedding.

• Surprise visits when he was able to get away from camp. Celebrating his birthday together.

• The day he got home from camp. Getting to see him every day. Now counting down the days until we would be married.

• Waking up at 4:30 a.m. to go to work. While in the shower, smelling savory scents wafting from the kitchen under the bathroom door and hearing the muted clanging of pots and pans. Coming out and finding that my fiancé had made a full breakfast for me.

• Walking out to the car from Grandma's at 5:30 to drive to work and jumping out of my skin because yet again he's yet again gotten up hours before he's needed to so he can surprise me and spend some time with me as he drives me to work.

• Trying on wedding dresses at different locations with family and friends. Finding the perfect one.

• Planning the wedding together, finalizing the program. Having our engagement pictures taken by Bill. Making the invitations with Grandma Lenz, dropping them off at Bridal Veil.

• Our rehearsal and dinner. Realizing it was my last day a single lady. A midnight run to Walmart with my sister to get contact lens solution. Having the hardest time going to sleep.

• Waking up way early. Getting ready for the big event. Arriving at the garden and making the final preparations. Hanging out with my mom, bridesmaids and flower girls, waiting for it to be time.

• Walking down the aisle with my Daddy and looking up to see my handsome groom waiting for me. Being surrounded by family and friends.

• Realizing it, only when he introduced us as “Mr. and Mrs. __________”, that it was REAL and we were finally married!

• Driving off in my uncle’s antique car through the streets of the small college town, beginning the next chapter of our life’s story.

Quiet solitude

Another quiet evening. There's been a lot of those this week. And it's sad to have to keep rescheduling date nights. Actually, having to schedule them in the first place is sad when you're living with the person! Unpredictable schedules are tough.

I suppose it's good for me. It helps me to be more flexible. But it's hard when making plans to have that thought in the back of your mind that it may not actually happen, at least not as planned.

I do enjoy having some quiet time to myself. But I get bored. And lonely. And if it lasts for too long, depressed. I have to keep myself busy, not let my mind think sometimes.

I'm spoiled, I know. Times like these make me realize how lucky I am to have a husband who is amazing as mine. And that he has a job that he enjoys. Sorry for the melancholy post. I just had to get it down.

Fostering

As a student at WWU, I always wanted to take a year out and volunteer at an orphanage. But, as plans changed, that never happened. At times I do regret that. It's an experience I will never have. But recently I have realized that I still can make a difference in the lives of children. Not just in my career as an OT, but in my own home. There are so many kids in this world who don't have loving, stable homes to grow up in, as many of us were blessed with as kids. Someday, once I'm settled in my job, we hope to become foster parents.

Today when I got home from school, I went onto the foster parent association for our city. Going through the forms and looking at the information actually made me tear up. I feel SO strongly called to do this. A local long-term mission, in our home. I hope that it happens one day, we will have to wait and see what is in store. :)

Exciting News?

Lately I've been amazed yet again of how many of my friends have had exciting news to share. Engagements, having babies, announcing their expecting a baby, weddings... I could go on and on. At first I was kinda bummed. No news here. But then I realized that that's okay. In fact, that's actually wonderful. It's nice to have things "as is" for awhile. I love where we are at. I'm blessed with an adoring husband whose love amazes me daily. We are blessed to live in a beautiful, comfortable home. I have been blessed with amazing family and friends. And I am almost done with school.

Soon it will be busy enough with all sorts of change: graduation, internships, and then finding a job. And somewhere down the road we'll have exciting news. But for now... I'm just enjoying not having any news, and enjoying the moment. :)

wedding dress

So I tried on my wedding dress today as I was assembling outfits for an upcoming photo shoot I'm having done. Well, I TRIED to try on my dress. Got the zipper half way up at least. Unfortunately, size 2 was several dress sizes ago. *sigh* Not who I once was. It's sad. Definitely motivation to keep active and continue eating carefully. :'(

Counting Calories

This evening while discussing food/exercise/calories, this conversation played out:

Bob: "I'd rather have fun in life than counting every calorie."

Kari: "I know, but I obviously don't count every calorie."

Bob: "(Chuckles)"

Thanks.... haha!

Happy new year!

I should have written this as my first post of the year. Guess it wasn't the first thing on my mind. I believe 2011 is going to be an amazing year! I am so excited about finishing my education this next year and beginning my practice as an occupational therapist.

These next two quarters will be quite intense: finishing up our research project and write-up, presenting our project at EWU's symposium, peds and geriatric fieldworks, and our final oral exam. Not to mention graduation in June! :) Then I will begin my first level 2 fieldwork at a local skilled nursing facility for my summer quarter. In the fall I will be working in the Cheney school district, and in December I will complete my requirements for my MOT! :) That means that a year from now, I will hopefully have a job lined up, and I'll likely be frantically studying for my state boards.

This coming year will be an exciting one- can't wait to see what all is in store. Anyone else have exciting plans lined up for this coming year??

New attitude

While reviewing my recent posts, I realized that I've used this blog more as a venting space than an area to share stories and thoughts with friends and family. And so, my goal is to keep it more upbeat and light-hearted. It will go along with one of my personal goals of being more optimistic. :)

Today I am working on finishing up projects before flying home tomorrow. It's amazing how fast time goes when you're on vacation sometimes. I thought I had all the time in the world to finish things, and now I have less than a day to get ready for Christmas!

I am ecstatic about being home with the family- first time we've all been home at the same time in a year. I will also be going to a wedding of a childhood friend this next week, as well as catching up with many Portland friends!

I don't want to learn things on facebook anymore. Not small day-to-day things, those are fine. But big, life events of "friends". Like finding out someone's engaged/expecting/in a relationship/married. Maybe the problem is that facebook causes us to be TOO connected. What if we learned things through the good old-fashioned grape vine? What if we knew things about people because we actually saw them and talked with them on a semi-regular basis. I'm tired of knowing people superficially and losing out on close friendships that once were. Is it better to just not hear about things? I don't know. Sometimes I think "hearing" things online hurts just a bit more.

Cold, alone, worried, acused, scared and in pain

I feel cold, alone, and worried. Cold because it's freezing outside. Alone because I haven't been able to talk with my husband all day, and worried because of all the snow and traveling in it.

Bob was still at home when I left for school this morning. Roads were awful getting down our hill. Didn't hear from Bob at lunch, hoping at least he got to work safely. He was supposed to stay for a staff meeting beginning at 7 (they typically last 2+ hours), but was thinking of going to his parents for awhile between work and the meeting. Still haven't heard anything and cell is now dead, which for some reason also makes it so I can't get through on his office line. No response on e-mail either. Argh! Just hope everything's okay.

I feel frustrated and accused. I'm frustrated because no matter what we do for Storm, it doesn't work. Today I got home and the neighbor came over and told me that she had been out all day and that the neighbors 3 houses down were keeping her. I feel accused because of statements from neighbors such as, "Is she going to be inside tonight, you know it's really too cold for her to be outside," or "You know she's been out all day. We couldn't call because she doesn't have her collar" and, "I don't know what kind of collar doesn't break. OUR dog has free reign of our yard." WELL MINE WOULD TOO IF THE CRAZY THING DIDN'T JUMP IT! And she didn't have her collar because SHE BROKE IT! And of course I'm not going to leave her outside in the blizzard and single digit temperatures. Pretty sure these are the neighbors that reported us to animal control.

I feel accused. Like I'm a negligent and abusive pet owner. We do our best for her. Yes- we leave her outside during the day. But she has shelter, food and water. More than we can say for lots of people out there right now. But nobody cares about that, let's make sure our animals are taken care of. Stupid. Yes I care about our animal. But she's that- an animal.

I'm also extremely frustrated. At school we have to get in 10 hours for a "community experience". Some classmates were assigned to an adaptive sports program, others to a women's shelter, and I was assigned to the local veteran's home. The other two programs had variable times you could go get your hours. But mine doesn't. Tuesday from 2-4pm. Written in stone. I don't know why. I just go and visit with my client in his room. I could do that any time. But our professors aren't moving. Most of my classmates are now on Thanksgiving break. But not me. So about the time the UCA bus (driven by my husband) is passing through the Tri-cities, I'll be beginning my 2 hour stretch of my community experience, spending time with a client who would rather not spend his time with me. I'll come home to an empty cold house, and start out the next morning to drive through the dicey roads on my own. Oh wait, not on my own. Storm will be there. Can't leave her home and let the neighbors watch her for us. We learned last time what happens when we do that.

Oh- and I went to the chiroporactor today, got some work done, and my shoulder hurts like the blazes. And he mentioned two separate surgeries, not for the first time.

Hope the rest of you are feeling more optimistic right now. I am feeling quite down.

Hello out there......

So just a question: how many people actually read this? Looking at other friends' blogs, I realize that mine is quite stagnant of comments and has only a few "followers". So- anybody out there?? Perhaps I should re-think this whole blog business....

A Sight for Sore... Backs?

I know most of you have probably heard already, but yes- we're getting a hot tub. Hurray! I am ecstatic! Very excited to try it out. Bob has (apparently) been planning on getting one for us for some time, but this last week he let me in on a secret- he was going to one for me for Christmas! Only "problem" is that the ground will be frozen by then, and it would be really hard to install. So... we started looking. And this is what we found.

We can't have it delivered until Nov. 7, but in the mean time, Bob has a new project of creating the pad for it to rest on and implementing the electricity and plumbing needed.

So if any of you are nearby- feel free to come visit. I feel completely spoiled to have such a generous gift, and want to share it! :)

P.S.- to those Kyles reading this, who happened to see pics if they followed the link- is this the same as Jerry and Patti's? It looks pretty close...

"Daddy, don't hit me!!"

Tonight at the video store, I witnessed the most tragic scene. A family of four wandered around the store, the parents discussing video options. Two little kids, a boy and a girl, solemnly followed behind. The boy had a knit cap on, as well as his hoodie. Strangely, the dad was holding the hoodie up over the boy's forehead. Suspicious, I watched the family. Something didn't seem right. As the parents became more engaged in their conversation, the little boy ran off. When he came back, his hoodie slipped back enough for me to see two large bruises on the side of his face. Holding back tears, I struggled to maintain my composure. While I "browsed", I tried to figure out what to do. Picking up "She's the Man", and pretending to read the back, I heard the boy say, "Daddy, don't hit me!" and then he was hushed. My suspicions confirmed, I thought of what I might do. I couldn't stand by and do nothing.

Bob soon joined me and I told him what I'd seen and heard. As we walked around, we heard the boy's plea again. There was no hitting, but it was obvious that it was a common occurrence. We checked out, and then decided to wait in our car to see which car the family left in. I hoped that I could catch the license plate number. After waiting for twenty minutes, we saw the family leave the store. As they walked through the parking lot, we soon realized that they didn't have a car there. We followed them for a few blocks in our car, then realized that we couldn't anymore because they were headed away from the busy shopping area and they would see that they were being followed.

I still wish I could have done something more for those kids. I didn't know what I could have done. I wish I'd had something I could have given the woman... something that could have encouraged her or given her some resources. What I really wanted to do was to take that little boy home with us. This reignited my desire to one day be a foster parent to kids who need a safe place to be between their unhappy homes and their future adopted home situation. I feel such a strong pull to work with these kids. Perhaps after I've finished school and before we have our family, we'll have the opportunity to take in a child and provide a safe loving home for them. We'll have to see. :)

When it Rains it Pours

First off- I've gotta say this is an amazingly beautiful brisk fall morning. A nice break from the grey skies we've had lately. Don't get me wrong- I love rainy grey weather, but it's definitely nice to see the sun shine through as well.

Lately I have been SO stressed. We've been preparing for the last month now for a practicum that is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I am not as prepared as I would like to be, but fortunately I have done quite a bit of prep work leading up to it. Today I just need to put all the pieces together for the scenarios.

I also am stressed out about something that happened in the last week. In the process, I believe I hurt a friend's feelings. Though I have apologized, I'm still not convinced things are better, and I feel bad about it. I need to think before I speak.

I am also dealing with continued chronic pain. After 2 weeks of tingling/burning/numb sensations in my right leg and arm, I went to the chiropractor today. After a number of assessments, he is quite sure that I have a slipped disc. Oh joy. As if my back doesn't have enough going on. So he said that if I guard it, the likelyhood of it healing on its own is fairly high. However, if I am not careful, surgery could be in my future.

Boo... I am too young for this. Only 23. I have so many active things in my future. He is writing a letter today to the student disability support services of EWU. This will enable my professors to work with my fieldwork sites so that they will be required to accommodate for a lifting restriction (no more than 20 lbs). This leads me to question what area of OT I can realistically go into that won't require this lifting. It's discouraging. Areas that I am interested in may not be reasonable.

What about other areas of life? I want to take my dog on a walk- but that risks re-injuring my still healing impinged rotator cuff, or twisting my back to injure my disc. What about motherhood? Even though that's quite a ways down the road, I do think about it. Pretty sure that requires lifting more than 20 lbs. What about the pregnancy itself? That's some major strain on the back.

Well I should be getting on with my day. Though I feel like I've hit a wall, the world still keeps moving and I need to catch up. Back to studying for the practicum. Thanks for listening, friends. :)